Official Dumpster fire 2020 shirt

“Does this shirt match my wall?” is a question I never thought I’d ask myself. Then again, I never expected to weather a global pandemic in my studio apartment with a singular can of Lysol spray as my prized possession. So the Official Dumpster fire 2020 shirt and I will buy this shirt thing? Really, it’s the least of my problems. But I love making it a big deal, pulling sweaters and blouses out of my closet, throwing them over my braless body (haven’t worn one of those in a month!), and testing them out in front of a webcam like I’m about to snap a 2008 Myspace profile picture.

Official Dumpster fire 2020 shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt

Let me explain. Once upon a time, I played the Official Dumpster fire 2020 shirt and I will buy this dating game. My outfits were the pieces I moved across the chessboard. The photographer that wanted to meet up at a dive bar? Saw him there in my Levi 501s. That European guy with an ambiguous job and a reservation at an overpriced downtown hotspot? As long as my Rotate minidress and I weren’t paying. The startup bro who was sooo busy and could only grab a drink at 9:30 on a Tuesday? He definitely wasn’t looking for anything serious, but I foolishly entertained him in my Vince slip dress for months.